Have you ever been in a situation when you were put in a spotlight to tell a story you don’t want to tell, because oh, well, it’s either a)embarrassing, or b)not funny? So, there you are, having dinner, let’s say, with a big group of friends, and then one of your friend says, “hey, tell them about this or that..“, and you really don’t wanna go into it, but everyone’s watching you now and expecting an answer and you’re put on the spot when you don’t know what to say!
It’s so awkward! It happened to me a while back, we were having drinks together with new people. New people, that’s even worse! Hot new people, the worst! Well, thanks a lot, now I can snatch the record of ruining a good image of myself in under 5 minutes! Neutral, if not good, since we supposedly have just been introduced.
Anyway, I was sipping my drink innocently, so gullible and oblivious of what was gonna happen next. Suddenly, my friend said, “Tin, tell them about how you two met..” and everyone’s eyes were on me. I wanted to curl up under a blanket and never come out, or dissapear off the face of the earth! I think at that time, I was muttering, “eh…” or I might have even attempted a slight change-of-subject-manuever (I was told I’m pretty good at it), but obviously I sucked. If I did try to change the subject, my friend must have persisted, “tell them!” until I had no choice. (Of course by being busted trying to change the topic got everyone to think there’s a really juicy story, and now they wouldn’t drop the matter!) By the time I finished the story, I think everyone kinda fell into a deafening silence, and the conversation gradually continued on a totally different topic. I was like, what the fuck, I totally didn’t need to say anything back there! It was so unoriginal that it wasn’t even worth a comment or a follow-up!
One thing about me is that, I don’t like being put on the spot! I mean, I like attention and all, but nothing gets me more anxious than being surprised, or put under the spotlight unexpectedly! Part of why I don’t like changes is because I’m an insane planner and I like to know what I’m dealing with in advance. So I guess that makes sense. Don’t do that, please!
Similar thing happened just recently. We were having dinner too with new people! Why oh why! Well, and then one of my older friend suddenly said, “Tin, what happened to your then-boyfriend? Why did you two break up?”
Everyone was staring at me. Like, dammit, I don’t want to discuss about my breakup during dinner in front of a new friend, lah! At one point even this new person said to me, “Tell me! I’m curious now…”
“Ah, nothing…” I think I could only say that weakly after a few seconds (which felt like eternity) of awkward silence. Suddenly my food looked very interesting that I could only manage to look down at it.