Remind me to always count my blessings.

New layout again! I lurveee it! (yeah, and I said that before.) This is the thing about having a short attention span.

Anyway, can you guys believe it’s almost July? It’s literally, the second phrase of the year already. I can’t help asking myself, what have you been doing? But I’m determined to just think positively about the whole thing. One can only try, and in the end that’s what matters. Goodness, I have tried my hardest. What can I be ashamed of?

My good friend once said, “the best thing about you is that you don’t give up,” and I hope that’s true. It’ll be alright.

Now more than ever I want to believe it. And I do. I think. I’m blessed enough having such supportive family and friends who never made me feel any less, even though I had my fair share of feeling like a failure. I can only hope that what doesn’t kill you, make you stronger.

I realize things may not always go according to plan. I think I was way too cocky and proud, to say that this has been an humbling experience is an understatement. I definitely learn a lot.

I have a plan. It’s different than I had imagined at first, but it’s something to get me forward. And more than anything, that’s all I want.

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Weight and Yoga

My yoga mat is so cute! Definitely the cutest one in the class! Yep, I’ve been doing yoga every week now, and I’m loving it! I’m not into intense working out (such as running and pretty much almost all sports there are), but yoga is definitely one of the really few exercises which I enjoy. I think my flexibility is rather impressive.

Speaking of which (exercise, not about being flexible), I’m desperately trying to lose weight. I’m ridiculously ballooning, which is funny in concept, I guess, but not so attrative in person. My weight has been fluctuating lately, and I’m the plumpest I’ve ever been.

I remember as a kid, I’ve never gained weight, even when I ate junk food most of the time and had meals between snacks. Everyone commented, “you’re so skinny!” everytime we went to visit distant relatives or family friends.

So from all that stability in the past, maybe it’s time for fairness to settle in? Equilibrium? I need to gain huge amount of weight to compensate for all those younger years. Of course.

[Normally I cringe seeing old pictures ‘cos I always think I looked so weird in those, but lately I don’t mind flipping open some not-so-recent images when I still felt damn confident wearing skimpy shorts and halter tops. Now my thigh is almost too huge to handle.]

ps. I allow myself to be completely shallow sometimes.

Attica Friday

So yesterday night I was out in Clarke Quay with my two friends, again. I realized lately that I have been there much more than I normally do, not that there’s anything wrong with it. Sometimes it’s not much of the partying-aspect of it, it’s just the feeling that you get when you’re inside a club, absorbed with the music and ambience and the full-energized crowds, it’s pretty awesome. Of course, since we’re at it, we might as well dance our socks off, work out and burn out carbs in the process, and occasionally entertain random approaches by fellow cute partygoers.

It started early last night since I was out for karaoke session with my sister and cousin beforehand. They really are the best singing companions, because we all know the same songs and we can sing and act really dorkily to boybands and disney songs without weird glances from anyone. We went to the KTV place in Shenton Way, which I’ve never tried out before. KTV is supposedly better, (and more expensive, as it turns out) than our usual Kbox, but it was a good change for once-in-a-while-occasion. We had chicken wings and some assorted snacks and bubbles teas to last us the three-hours session. Blissfull.

Still in the pumped out mood from all those singing, I went straight to Clarke Quay to meet my friends and got it Attica a little before 11 for free. Now, I don’t know if you’ve been to Attica, but it’s my favorite club at the moment for the reason I can’t quite pinpoint. My friend once joked and said that there’s a saying: ‘all roads lead to Attica’, because of that precise appeal.

To me, whenever I go to Attica, I always have fun, and so the experience is never dissapointing.I would gladly go to Attica any day of the week, and we started going there on Friday night more instead of just the usual ladies night on Wednesday. The crowds are better, and yesterday wasn’t an exception.

The first floor of the club is playing RnB music, while the second storey called Attica Too, is sporting techno. We always spend most of our time in the first floor, ‘cos that’s where we can really dance, and occasionally when we need to take a breather and get a change of scenery, we go upstairs and hang by the bar or join in the dance floor as well for a while. I secretly think that the people upstairs are much more good-looking, (although the chances of you being picked on by sleazy guys are much higher too.)

By the end of the night, my heels were killing me, but my spirit was high. As always, I had lots of fun and we met (and avoided) some fun crazy people. It’s funny that after coming there regularly for a while, you start to recognize the fellow regulars as well. There were some guys there yesterday whom I have met last Wednesday and I just wanted to avoid them, so everytime he (the one person I would most like to avoid at all costs) was in near sight, my friend would hysterically yell, ‘he’s behind YOU’ and I would run to the opposite direction as fast as I could. It happened a lot of times until I convinced myself the whole thing’s just ridiculous. One minute we were dancing and laughing along, the next second I was scrambling and running away like I was a pickpocket.

ps. Remember when I mentioned in previous post that I never witnessed anything exciting? Well, last night when the club closed and we were resting our legs in the bench right outside, there was a little fight going on between a drunk caucasian man and the big Attica’s bouncer. It was stupid, the bouncer was clearly twice his size, and it seems that he was drunk so most probably he was the one at fault, and he was yelling ‘fuck you, you fag!’ to the bouncer’s face while the bouncer remained quiet, just fixing him an intense look. I wouldn’t wanna be in his bad side, if I were him. But no fist fight happened, it was just slightly tense to witness, and in the end the fellow bouncers pushed him aside, and there was nothing left but the eerie silence of the dawn.

Close to Swine Flu

How do you guys feel about swine flu?

Well, it’s a retarded question, ‘cos any pandemic diseases are terrible things. I actually just wanna talk about it in a more personal level.

In news gathering class, we learn that proximity is as an important factor in news writing as prominence, or even timeliness. Although, yes, there is a term, ‘news is new’, and no such thing like ‘it’s only newsworthy when it’s close to you’, but that it true. Of course we are proned to be more affected when something occurs nearby, rather than if it happens in Timbuktu, or somewhere far away.

Well, anyway, I’m kinda rambling here. The relation between these all with my first question about swine flu is that, yes, WHO has upped the pandemic alert to 6, and hundreds of people have died because of it, and not one day passes by without a mention of swine flu in the news. Of course this is an enough reason for everybody to freak out and feel scared.

But, I haven’t been really thinking about it, or allowing myself to be worried. It’s like those things when you’re almost certain it won’t ever happen to you, because, well, just because. I’m relatively a boring person, and nothing ever really happens to me. I have never witnessed anything particularly exciting, like one time in Oklahoma, two of my classmates ran back to class, all sweaty and breathless, and they were like, “Oh my god, we just saw a chase between a police car and some bad guy and there were guns!” See, I have never been in that situation, even a minor one. My sister was once in the taxi and it hit another car, so there was this major fight drama, involving both drivers yelling and cursing at each other. Nothing ever happened to me, that the thought of swine flu doesn’t even affect me anymore.

The possibility of me actually catching swine flu is even more unlikely than having pigs shooting out of my arse.

So this morning I was browsing news in the internet and read that there were another 16 new cases of swine flu in the island. Normally, I would have known that the victims must have been like, foreign students who just came back from US, and their friends, or their relatives. But these last few days, the pattern has been slightly inconsistent, because cases were found locally. It’s like, having set up a parameter to protect a country from the outside, and suddenly finding out that there’s a mole inside, and that sort of just changes everything. (Have I been seeing too much ’24’?)

Anyway, this is what I came across:

A third cluster of locally—infected cases has also been identified at popular nightclub Butter Factory at One Fullerton.

The new case is a 19—year—old Singaporean female student. She visited the
club on June 17 when three previously reported cases were also there.

The Health Ministry has advised all those who had visited Butter Factory on
June 17 to monitor their health and seek medical attention if they feel
unwell.

At first I thought it was funny, ‘cos hey, I went to Butter Factory just last week. And then I checked the date, and oh shit! It was Wednesday, the same night I was in the club.

Actually, we were planning to check out the new branch of the club in Fullerton, and we were already there, trying to get in. But the queue was ridiculously long, which we didn’t expect at all. We sort of hung around and said hi to a couple of friends we accidentally met there, but later decided to just leave to another place.

Was the poor swine-flu victim there among the crowd when we were there? Or has she perhaps, gone inside? Only then did it hit me, how close we were, are, to everything. And I don’t know, maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that it could happen to me, to all of us.

I’m not gonna start freaking out or anything, but just a kind reminder to everyone, I think it won’t hurt to pay more attention to our health, to take care of ourselves a little better. We will be fine as long as our immune system is good, and that means, don’t let yourself get too tired, never miss a meal, drink a lot of water, and rest enough.

And, good luck to us.

Cab drivers

Choosing a cab is like, choosing your food at dinner. Choose wisely and you may end up with complete satisfaction and sweet memories, and crap choices leave you with upset stomache and a case of diarrhea.

The reason I said this, because at times your fate really lies in the hand of a cab driver, hence, making this decision-making process a very important one. Good driver is hard to come by, and the bad ones seem to be everywhere. Bad cab drivers are the worst, they make Hitler seem mild.

The bad ones are rude and harsh. They speak in broken english, scold you for being ignorant and not being able to speak chinese, and drive like they’re doing stunts in bad action movies.

The bad ones snort when you say ‘thank you’, grunt rudely when you pull out a fifty-dollar bill and comment on your outfit.

The good drivers, however, appear like Princess Diana in comparison. They smile and make jokes, they strike up a nice conversation, and they say ‘thank you’ back after you. These people make the world a better place.

Although it seems trivial, I actually think this is rather important. And makes me feel all the more grateful everytime I get the good ones.

Yesterday was one example. I went back by cab from Clarke Quay in the morning, and I was ready to pay when we arrived by the lift in my apartment’s basement. I pulled out the only dollar bill I had at that moment, which was fifty bucks, and handed it over. He looked at me, all apologetic, saying he just began his shift and thus, absolutely had no change.

‘So how?’ I asked. We could go to 7/11 to exchange money but the store was on the opposite street and I was too tired to function. He looked at me for a few seconds, and pulled out a piece of paper, wrote down his account number and told me to just transfer the money to there.

I was slightly taken aback, because well, it is unusual, right? $14.20 doesn’t seem that much, but he had no guarantee, technically that I would really pay him the fare later. Of course, aside fro my trustworthy look, but people say that looks can be deceiving, right? In my exhausted state, I was really grateful for this person. Because he trusted me enough, this means I could go straight upstairs and crash to bed.

Well, actually I still had to wipe off make-up, change into pajamas, and take off my lens, but you got the drift.

It’s always nice when a complete stranger makes a kind gesture. Especially taxi drivers, since there are just too many of the bad ones out there, clustering the world.

I’m in Love

[This is written in a rather dramatic effect, but all circumstances are real.]

Last night was the night that I saw literally, the man of my dream.

You know that epitome of your ideal guy? The exact picture of someone that comes to mind whenever people look at you and ask, “so, what’s your type?” You say, this or that, and you know this probably wouldn’t happen in real life, but you’re happy enough living in a temporary fantasy that maybe you will be lucky and snatch gold. Maybe you’ll end up being with someone you’ve always pictured yourself with, maybe your boyfriend will exactly be your ‘type’

[I’m talking about the physical appearance]

So anyway, last night I saw the visual image of my ‘perfect man’ come to live in the form of a guy so gorgeous and so handsome I was certain I fell in love right there and then. Okay, please try not to puke, will you?

I was in Attica with a friend, and we were making our way through the crowded dancefloor to the stairs. My friend was in front of me, and this perfect guy happened to be walking in front of her. I saw his perfect height (probably in all his 6’5” glory) and his perfect neat, short cropped blond hair. And then he turned around, and he had the most beautiful face behind the most beautiful black-rimmed glasses, and my heart literally leaped.

He smiled! He smiled at me! I almost fainted, but I managed to pull what I hoped was a friendly inviting smile, but I’m afraid at that state of shock, I might have grimaced instead. We were still walking while this happened, and he purposely turned back again to look at me, still flashing that gorgeous smile. Oh my god, my knees gave away. I think I waved. I think! I felt dizzy out of love!

We got to the stairs and this man got in the loo which was located near the stairs, and suddenly I didn’t want to go down! Suddenly I wanted to stay there right where he was, although I had no form of plan whatsoever! I pulled my friend and I said, “I’m in love with that guy in glasses.”

Bless her, she agreed to stay with me there and waited for the guy to come out from the bathroom and then, well, hopefully we would have figured out a plan of action. So we were standing by the bar while my heart was pounding crazily. To be honest I would have believed you if you said that I just envisioned him smiling at me, that maybe it was just in my head, but I had to keep the faith!

A few minutes passed by and I was ready! I would say ‘hello’ even if it kills me!

Suddenly out of nowhere an indian guy was in front of me, and he was talking as if he’s the twenty-first-century’s Romeo. “Don’t you know that I have been following you? I think you are beautiful,” he said. “Will you be the witness at our wedding?” he asked my friend, and he went on and on with his most over-the-top and corniest praises. My friend and I were glancing at each other, thinking ‘is he for real?’ I’ve never really heard anyone say things like that before, ever.

But the damage is done. After I managed to shush him away (it took so long, dammit), I had no idea where my prince charming went! I should have been right outside, welcoming him with the warmest smile when he came out from the loo! (okay, that wasn’t a very smart and romantic scenario, but it would have to do!) And now, if he really has noticed and smiled at me before, he would have thought this weirdo guy was with me, or worse, that I had the stupidest taste in men.

There is no comparison! Look at him! He’s literally the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen! We’ll have the most gorgeous wedding ever, and our babies will be devastatingly gorgeous!

Seriously, people. I have the wildest imagination. Then again, I’m in love!

This wasn’t something I’m particularly proud of, but I was stalking him the entire night! How could I not?! But since then, he was within his big group of friends (and girls!) in the crowded dancefloor, him towering in the middle with all his handsomeness. Going in there to say hello to him would be like, trying to knock down the Great Wall of China. Those possies possies were like, the defender of the ancient treasure. Those players in front of the goal line in football. Secret Service protecting the President.

I saw my happy wedding and beautiful babies dream slowly evaporated and diminished by the second.

By 5, the man of my dream left, and as I bid a secret tearful goodbye, I wondered if I would ever see him again.

I don’t know what is it about him and why it affected me so much. Afterall, it’s not like there is a shortage of good-looking guys out here, but this is exactly MY PERFECT MAN we’re talking about here. This seriously will bug me for the rest of the week. Or month.

Music

My playlist changes every so often. It’s important to listen to certain music when you’re experiencing different emotions.

Some Clay Aiken and Maroon 5 remind me of my youthful existence, while Horseshoe Road simply transports me straight to the country where there’s nothing much but land and greens. Natasha Bedingfield makes me feel girly, James Morrison gets me all mellow, and Marvin Gaye, well, you don’t say. “Let’s Get It On”? “Sexual Healing”? Those are probably the sexiest tunes known to man.

Anyway, although my musical knowledge is very limited (and very 90s, I’d say), I do know what kind of music I absolutely enjoy listening to for every occasion. This week, these are my top two singers/bands:

1. The Script

I love these guys from the moment I listened to ‘We Cry’. ‘Breakeven’ and ‘The Man Who Can’t Be Moved’ are equally as catchy and moving. They’re pretty huge in their Ireland hometown, and their album has apparently reached multi-platinum. I love their latest single, ‘Talk You Down’ too, check it out if you wanna know what they sound like.

2. Ben Folds

A friend of mine actually introduced me his music. I listened first to ‘Hiroshima’ and ‘Rocking The Suburbs’, and thought they were really quirky and unique. You should listen to ‘Bricks’ and ‘Landed’ too, but this one is my personal favorite, ‘Evaporated’.

If you bother to listen, let me know what you think.

So, until next time!