Coping mechanism.

I initially wanted this space to just be all positive and colorful and funny (err, debatable – more like attempt to be funny – you get the gist) and leave the negative thoughts behind.

But then – it won’t really be the fullest expression of me right?

I, too, have those down moments when I question myself, my capabilities, and even my self-worth. And when it happens, sometimes I don’t know what to do.

Well, I would usually write. Letting it out seems to help.

But mostly, I usually think a bit too much – and that’s not good. My mind is super jumbled with different emotions and all I could do to stop myself from worrying too much about it is watch a good tv, or play piano, or just distract myself from being completely still.

How can people’s opinion affect how I feel about myself so much? How can I let it? Why do we live in a world where one could think that one side of a person is equal to that person’s worth?

What about ‘the heck with what people think of you’ and those self-reassuring mantra that I often advise other people and why yet, I can’t seem to apply it myself.

Anyway, I guess we all go through moments like these every once in a while, and what can you do? All you can do is, take the time to dwell and write and do whatever you need to, to recharge and get back into it.

And realize that in the grand scheme of things, what I’m worrying about right now, is so insignificant. So what if people think a certain way? So what if I fail?

What’s the worst that could happen?

I doubt that it’s as bad as our mind makes it up to be. Most times, we are really our own worst enemies.

Why are we always the toughest on ourselves, when we should be our own biggest cheerleader? Enough people around you are already doing the job without you having to make it worse.

So what I’m gonna do now, is listen to more sad music, watch a new series, probably let myself feel down for a while more, and pick myself up and get back to whatever life has in store for me.

And if all else fails… well, there’s always a farm of sheep in New Zealand.


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