Nervous wreck

I am extremely nervous. I’m quite astonished that I get to be this tense, which means that subconsciously this must be pretty darn important.

I know I want this, but I can handle rejections. I will be dissapointed, but at least it’s me, it’s easier to handle. But my dad and my sister are having high expectations of me, and it’s harder to dissapoint them. Bless them, they think I’m miss smarty pants, when in fact, I’m just more like, miss pants.

I know there is the other option, and I was so excited about the prospect. I thought that’s what I’m gonna do for sure. And then this came along, and I realized that I want this more. It totally blew the whole equivation.

What was I thinking? Writing about what makes you nervous probably isn’t a good idea to calm your nerves.